View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:35 pm



Reply to topic  [ 180 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
 JOKES - Only the good ones 
Author Message
Gold Member
Gold Member

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:52 pm
Posts: 4256
Location: TX
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Attachment:
1.jpg
1.jpg [ 280.81 KiB | Viewed 3033 times ]

_________________
Image


Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:56 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Wed Dec 24, 2014 2:16 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Sun Dec 28, 2014 12:58 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:52 pm
Posts: 4256
Location: TX
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Just got a letter from Grandma

Quote:
She writes...
The other day I went to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone elseloved Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GOD Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the celebration. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing...why, even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light hand changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers <grinning> and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed to red. I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away!!
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Love,
Grandma

_________________
Image


Mon Dec 29, 2014 3:08 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Sun Jan 04, 2015 10:24 am
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Sun Jan 04, 2015 6:05 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:38 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:52 pm
Posts: 4256
Location: TX
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
WINNING JOKE IN BRITAIN

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut

off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is

looking for work.



The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a

brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."



The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man,

put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."



The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Six years ago, we

took a Muslim with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him

President.

Now, the whole country is looking for work!"



This joke actually won an award for the best joke in world competition

held in Britain!

_________________
Image


Sun Jan 18, 2015 9:06 am
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Quote:
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital.

She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone Who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. Cores has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me stool."

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Wed Jan 21, 2015 9:42 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Thu Jan 29, 2015 9:04 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Fri Jan 30, 2015 7:20 am
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:52 pm
Posts: 4256
Location: TX
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

....I love these touching stories !!!

_________________
Image


Sun Feb 15, 2015 6:51 pm
Profile
Gold Member
Gold Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:23 am
Posts: 24736
Location: in a Louisiana swamp ... somewhere
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Image

_________________
Installed 164 bbk in 2009


Mon Feb 16, 2015 4:57 pm
Profile
Newb
Newb

Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2017 3:30 am
Posts: 5
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
Life With A Blonde Teenager…

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

_________________
Web Designer at Petstreetmall
"We are your pet supplies expert"


Mon Aug 07, 2017 5:26 pm
Profile
Newb
Newb

Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2017 11:56 pm
Posts: 3
Post Re: JOKES - Only the good ones
A cattle rustler from Texas goes to a social capacity where Barack Obama is endeavoring to accumulate more help for his Health Plan. Write my Dissertation When he finds the cowhand is from President Bush's home region, he begins to disparage him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.


Fri Aug 25, 2017 2:19 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 180 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.